Success

Goals goals goals.

Achieve achieve achieve.

Win win win.

Do more stuff. Go further. Out of your comfort zone. Make a lot of money. Dare. Drive this car. Eat that food. Do this exercise. Be seen here. Wear this. Look like that. Read this. Watch that. Talk about this. Know that. Go here. Don’t go there. Study at this place. Study harder, more. Listen to these. Don’t listen to those. Think this way. Dial up your effort. Bootstraps. Skyhooks. The Secret. The other Secret. Go go go. Faster.

I have felt chivvied by these things all my life. Earningaliving. The moral grasp of social conformity. The hope of becoming special, standout, why are you not yet J K Rowling? Surely only that would justify the way you have

wasted

your

time

writing these books about silly things, not even adult things and if they are adult things then they are too raunchy nobody wants that in their

nice

clean

sciencefictionfantasystory

which is anyway an extension of foolish childhood desires and hopes and dreams

you can’t live responsibly on that. And now, as your publication star fades bit by bit thanks to various factors you don’t really see or understand but it’s on EPOS and the accountant says No and you have not and you can’t and you won’t and no thank you

and I close my eyes and think back to the very first time I ever wanted to write and what for and all of the things I could have done with my life and how I could have done even what I have done differently

to fit with that Go The Secret More Win model and make everyone happy that the story they have sold me has finally worked out for someone, see someone has done it all checked every box yes to this and that and do and more and they have won by their hard work and it was luck yes but it was mostly skill and time and dedication you see this model works it does it will if only you

and I feel sad

for them

 

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