Success

Goals goals goals.

Achieve achieve achieve.

Win win win.

Do more stuff. Go further. Out of your comfort zone. Make a lot of money. Dare. Drive this car. Eat that food. Do this exercise. Be seen here. Wear this. Look like that. Read this. Watch that. Talk about this. Know that. Go here. Don’t go there. Study at this place. Study harder, more. Listen to these. Don’t listen to those. Think this way. Dial up your effort. Bootstraps. Skyhooks. The Secret. The other Secret. Go go go. Faster.

I have felt chivvied by these things all my life. Earningaliving. The moral grasp of social conformity. The hope of becoming special, standout, why are you not yet J K Rowling? Surely only that would justify the way you have

wasted

your

time

writing these books about silly things, not even adult things and if they are adult things then they are too raunchy nobody wants that in their

nice

clean

sciencefictionfantasystory

which is anyway an extension of foolish childhood desires and hopes and dreams

you can’t live responsibly on that. And now, as your publication star fades bit by bit thanks to various factors you don’t really see or understand but it’s on EPOS and the accountant says No and you have not and you can’t and you won’t and no thank you

and I close my eyes and think back to the very first time I ever wanted to write and what for and all of the things I could have done with my life and how I could have done even what I have done differently

to fit with that Go The Secret More Win model and make everyone happy that the story they have sold me has finally worked out for someone, see someone has done it all checked every box yes to this and that and do and more and they have won by their hard work and it was luck yes but it was mostly skill and time and dedication you see this model works it does it will if only you

and I feel sad

for them

 

2 comments

  1. I kinda want to shake people and make them see how *this* is not working. I am studying operations research and in the world of mathematical optimization, local optima does not guarantee the global optimum. So, everyone trying to get the best for themselves is not the best we, humans of the Earth, can achieve.

    • There are so many aspects to this aren’t there? If we weren’t such an aggressive, self-promoting species we wouldn’t have succeeded in the past, but now we succeed too well on a survival level. When you take the same impulses into professions it can be great if it’s fuelled by a real personal commitment and sense of vision which includes wellbeing for yourself. But when it’s spewing out like a pressure wave at a particular social level it can be either inspiring or toxic depending on how it’s received and on how you set your parameters for success.

      I think that I have lately felt it as oppressive on this last level, because when I see these messages and prompts I am already in a state of having judged myself as failing on one front or another. It’s part of the whole (forgive me for cueing it again) Law of Attraction which is that you notice what you have already primed yourself to notice, for negative or positive reasons. This is such an empowering, joyful effect when it is directed well, but such a downward spiral if negative. It’s not the system itself that is the issue, but entirely how you have geared yourself to perceive it, isn’t it?

      In terms of the Earth we are still chugging along in primal survival systems mode and I think we have to switch tracks fast with that. We can’t stop the train, but we can make it go in another direction.

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