Scattered

I have a very scattered mind. My memory is loose. I don’t recall the stories I read two weeks ago, the films I’ve seen, the things I heard, the article details, the actual dates, that kind of thing. Even before phones I had to have notebooks but I forgot to update them.  My mind wanders, leaping about, making strange connections. It’s been fun but it’s also quite a handicap in a world rich with records and literature.

On the other hand I can re-live the experience of walking around with my house keys yesterday in sufficient clarity that I can go to the place I put them down first time. Even if it was somewhere really stupid, like on the bathroom window ledge.  I can do that for nearly any object if I was the last person to have it. Even if I last had it in my hand months ago.

I have periods of being very organised, life goes well. But then I slip up and go back to scattered. I used to feel bad, that one day I’d have it fixed and be organised all the time. But I really like my scattered days. They feel the best. So it will always be a bit of one, then a bit of the other.